July 31, 2021: Departures are opportunities to come back

July 31, 2021: Departures are opportunities to come back. If you do not leave you can not come back. “Ma, Aaaschi” a loose translation would be, “Mother, coming.” The response a child automatically gives when the parent calls, right from the days of childhood when called to have dinner or do a chore. In such cases it could be a reluctant promise to come and do something. Often repeated to delay the coming. “Esho” says the mother, “come,” and the response “aashchi.” But when my bondhu said, “Ma Aaaschi” through the window overlooking the street before stepping into my car I felt good. He has made a promise. “I will be back.” Till then she will wait, in an empty home, with a housekeeper, waiting for the child to fulfil the promise. As we drove through the rush hour traffic to the airport, I realized that the promise matters. I will be back. Do not worry. I have said this many times when my parents were alive, knowing full well I will keep the promise, as will my bondhu. I too will say to some, “Aaaschi” and now I have demonstrated I will keep the promise. There is a comfort in that. COVID-19 or not, I will be back. Many have used the crutch of COVID-19 to regress the promise. To push back the return. It is time to understand and work with the pandemic, not against it. Keep the promises made. If you said to someone, “aashchi” and they would say, “esho,” then come back. Death is the final departure. Then I will not be back. But hopefully by then I would be content in knowing that I have come back many times before, and I have fulfilled what I said I would do. A family member, now departed, once said to me that every time I have said, “aashchi” to my parents I was setting up an expectation and that expectation gave the will to live until I will be back. Because they knew I will be back. That makes the departures easy. When I leave in a few days and I will say to my bondhus, “Aaaschi” And, I will have the satisfaction in knowing that this is still might not be the final departure. This realization makes things simpler. For me, I no longer feel sad at departures. I used to. I no longer “miss” the place or the people. Because I know I will be back. And in the meantime, the pandemic has taught us that we are never away. Today, it is WhatsApp calls early in the morning, in a few days it will be WhatsApp calls late at night. While all of us move through spaces we seem to gravitate to times when we shall meet. At 5:00 am GMT we will talk, might even see each other, on the real or virtual porch. COVID-19 made what was always possible, a reality. Always connected. No departures. Will always be there and always come back. The answer is always, “Aaaschi” the response is always, “Esho.” There is always the anticipation, the excitement, the hope, the bondhu will be back. Like the Human League said, “I can look forward too/I'm coming back.”