Saathi

-

Saathi. I have spent some time in talking about a bondhu. A term that has very specific meanings in Bangla, a language that is spoken in the state of West Bengal in India and all of Bangladesh. Another similar sentiment is encoded in another Bangla word - saathi. The partner, the companion. Perhaps. A word that is infused in meanings that cross across many relational definitions. The English words partner, and companion begin to scratch the surface of the word saathi. The saathi holds your hand as you traverse the maze that is life. The hand holding signifies that one leads the other. Taking turns. There are moments when the saathi knows the way, and there are moments when the saathi is lost. Yet we all have saathis whose hands we can clench and be assured that we will never be lost. You trust the saathi with your life, knowing that this is the person who will rebuke you when you cross the boundaries of safety, will pull your hand and center you back in the safe place, who will press your hand ever so slightly reassuring you that you matter, and in the romantic sense, will entwine the fingers with a touch of sensuousness reminding you that there is a promise of a tenderness. The saathi never lets go of your hand. Even if you tire from someone holding your hand, the saathi will gently let go, but keep the soft touch on the fingers, awaiting your invitation for the clasp. A darkness surrounds us when the saathi lets go. Even in the brightness of the midday sun, when you realize that the hand is no longer there, you know you have come to the end of a journey. The hand has disappeared - drawn away in contempt - and you are left on your own. One can survive the loss of a bondhu, but the disappearance of the saathi is tantamount to a death by despairness. The one you relied on to walk hand in hand has just disappeared. The memories of the hand linger. Going for a walk now becomes a solitary journey through darkness. And this happens all the time - as hurt bodies walk around aimlessly through the catacombs of life, seeking to find the saathi whose hands will start them on a new journey. Some are fortunate to find the hand, others just continue alone, hands clenched, stoically knowing that the rest of the journey will be lonely. Perhaps they will find another one who too is walking, hands clenched, and two hands meet, and a new journey begins. It is not just the companionship that matters, but the way in which it is expressed is equally important amongst those who call each other saathi. Having a saathi to walk with makes the walk worthwhile, the gentle touch of fingers on fingers is the reminder that you are not alone, just as the withdrawal of the hand tells you deeply that you are on your own. The cruelest moment of all is when the person you thought was a saathi, a partner, a companion, lets go and pushes you into the abyss of despair; on the other hand the memorable moment of all is when you gently press down on the hands of the saathi and you are given the gentle press back. That is when you know life is good and you soar to new heights of hope. Being a saathi is all about holding hands and saying what the Beatles said, "And please, say to me/You'll let me hold your hand." Find your saathi and never let go, even if their clasp loosens, hold tight even more. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You are not welcome

-
You are not welcome. Because you really do not matter. Imagine the moment of hurt when you are told "I am NOT here" when you desperately ask, "Where Art Thou?" And after hearing that, over and over again, you stop asking. It becomes a moment of reckoning specially for people who have spent their lifetime saying, "Here I Am" and suddenly realize that there was no reciprocity; I was with a bondhu recently and I saw the pain. As the person often has said, "there are bruises and there has been blood on the ground." Sitting with a glass of wine we realized that this psychic blood and the bruises leave us strangely stronger rather than weaker. The hours of being there when there was a need, when the call came, unabashedly without any ambiguity you rise up to the challenge. That is when you say, "it doesn’t matter, it needs to be done." And in the same breath you say, "of course I am here and will be right next to you." Most do not w...
Read more

Loyalty - give and receive

-
Next week there will be a test of loyalty here. A strange thing - this idea of loyalty; where a person says that "I will never abandon you." No matter what happens, loyalty demands that commitment. It is a promise that says that you can count on me. It is similar to the theme I have developed in other posts, the essential answer to "Where Art Thou?" and being always able to say "Here I Am." Never failing and never wavering in the act of supporting what you claim to be loyal to. Judgment, and even reason, may be suspended in that support. It is the moment where self-interest disappears in the face of being with the person, institution, or the idea. In my life this principle has been particularly important. Few people can claim to be the quintessential "company man” and worked for the same employer for nearly thirty years or lived in the same town for nearly forty years (albeit with a temporary departure for professional development). It makes me wonder...
Read more

Are you an honorable person?

-
Are you an honorable person? Or do you cheat on tests? This conversation happened with my students recently. I have been a teacher for nearly three decades, and I have witnessed a lot. I remember the old days of blue books (my American readers will know what I mean), when I used to hand out a cyclostyle question paper (later a photocopy), and I would "invigilate" during the test time, as the students wrote out their answers in a book which had a blue cover, watching to see who the honorable student is and who peeps over the shoulder of the person nearby. I really never spotted anybody doing that. Because they were honorable people. They understood that there is a moral standard to be maintained. Many are not like that. They cheat. They are dishonorable men who cheat in everything they do - from their dishonesty to their bondhus, whose wives they take for the night, to the dishonesty to their professional ethics when they secretly make others do the work that is supposed to be...
Read more